Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Class Business Post Week #4
This course has made me increasingly aware of the many stereotypes that exist. Some time ago my mother had gone with my grandmother for a doctor visit. My grandmother is 84, healthy, drives, and is very capable of going places on her own. The only reason she asked my mother to go along this time was because she was seeing a new doctor in a location she was not familiar with. When they arrived, my grandmother filled out the necessary papers and when called in she asked my mother to come along. When the doctor entered, he immediately began talking to my mother and questioning her about the reason for my grandmother's visit, what medications she was taking, etc. He immediately assumed that because of my grandmother's age, she was not capable of understanding. However, my mother (becoming very annoyed at his assumption) proceeded to tell the doctor that he could direct all his questions to my grandmother who is very capable of understanding. "Relying on stereotypes can lead us to overlook important qualities of individuals and to perceive them only in terms of what we consider common to a general category" (Wood, p. 123). My mother felt angry for how the doctor approached the situation and treated my grandmother in this manner only because she is elderly.
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10 comments:
John,
This was a very good story because it is all too real. I could just see your grandmother sitting there feeling terrible and overlooked because the Dr. made a stereotypical assessment of her. This happens so much in our society regarding race, ethnicity, gender and religion. And yes I do believe we are products of our environment, the socialization we receive as children reinforces many stereotypes. I'm glad I am taking this course because I never thought in depth about this subject matter although I was very aware of it. Writing about gender and discussing it should be taught in elementary school so children would be aware of the stereotyping early on. Then they could hopefully make the correct social adjustments before they become prejudiced by them.
John,
I can totally relate to this scenario.
My mother is from Latvia, and has a very thick Russian accent. Despite the fact that she came to the US in her late teens, her accent is still very strong.
My mother has been living and working in the US for over 20 years, but because of her accent, people often assume that she can't understand what they are saying. My mother speaks and understands english perfectly, but because she sounds different, people often speak to me when I am with her.
The same thing is also true of my grandmother, who speaks four languages fluently. She graduated from university and worked as an accountant in the US, but because she has an accent and is somewhat elderly, people speak slowly to her.
Although it is upsetting, I guess you can't really blame the people who are doing this. In their minds, they are trying to accommodate a person who they think cannot understand them. A real problem would occur if after they are corrected, they continue to do this. This does happen from time to time and is very unfortunate.
John,
I think that many people make judgements too quickly in general on things that are obvious such as age, race, class and gender. I think that people make snap judgements on things that are not so obvious as well. For a long time I struggled with jumping to conclusions about certain people because of more subtle traits based on my experiences with similar individuals. An example, if a man wore an abstract tie or had a beard I assumed that we probably were not going to get along. You generally don't see men who mix ties, i.e. abstract one day symmetrical the next, so I take that as a message about their personality. I only wear ties that have symmetrical patterns and I have no facial hair, therefore I sensed that they were wired differently than me. Past experiences with men in abstract ties with beards have not been good. I still struggle with this stereotype from time to time. I have had some good expereriences recently dealing with men who fit this description so that has helped. I have tried to suppress my pre-concieved notions and reserve judgement, when that didn't work I tried to be "bilingual". I am sure some others have some similiar prejudices that are obscure like mine.
Wow. It really is pathetic when people look down at the elderly and apply all the stereotypes they know. I agree with Dorit that we shouldn't blame the people who do it because they really don't know, but the only way to find out is to actually talk to the person, in this case your grandmother. In order to find out that she is very capable of holding the conversation with the doctor, the doctor would have to talk to her. But good for your grandmother that she's healthy and capable of things! She beats all the stereotypes!
John,
I can relate to your mother and your grandmother in this story very well. I am not elderly but I am in a wheelchair because I cannot walk, so I experience this exact reaction from people quite often. Just because people see that someone is elderly or disabled, the stereotypical reaction is that we are not with it or capable of taking care of ourselves or communicating with others. Many times if I am with someone else, just like your grandmother and mother, people will flat out ignore me like I am not even there and start talking to my friend to find out about me. It is irritating because I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself, just like your grandmother. My friends usually get pissed off and are like " shes right in front of your face..why don't you ask her yourself?" Then they get all baffled and feel stupid..and im sorry but sometimes they should feel stupid because it is not right to treat people like that based on a stupid stereotpe. We are all invidivuals and should not be clumped into some dumb assumption. Good for your mom and your grandmom for sticking up for themselves. Im glad you grandmother is healthy and well!
Thank you for all of your comments. It's good to hear that we are all on the same page. It's a shame we can't live in a society free of stereotypes.
By the way, I also shared your comments with my mother and grandmother, who enjoyed them very much. They thank you for your support!
Its a shame that most doctors have their preconceived notions of you from your chart and dont bother to take 5 minutes to know who you are.
John,
I think we've all been judged unfairly at some point in our lives and have judged unfairly too. Your blog made me think about the stereotypical comment I make just about every time I'm driving behind someone I think is driving too slow. I say, Oh that must be an old person. I want to thank you for bringing this subject up. I will NOT be making that statement any more. And Koodos to your mother for speaking up.
I love your post…I believe that mistakes and assumptions are made because of categorizing people or perhaps judging to quick. I also believe that American culture give more importance to youth than to elders. I come from a place were grandmothers and older people are idolize by being old and accomplishing so much through their lifetime. I feel people live longer lives in other places but here elder people are neglected. It is sad that getting old becomes such struggle and burden in family members but when it is the opposite is beautiful. It is about emphasizing early values in our children so the respect for elders is not lost. It is so important to get the wisdom and knowledge that older people carry. Is like a box of chocolates to me!!!
My eighty-year-old grandfather recently went to Six Flags and did one of the craziest riders and he loved it. I was proud of him for doing that but after three heart attacks you will think he would be cautious….
Forever Young in spirit!!!!
I don't know if this is so much a gender issue or an age issue? Do you think an elderly man might have been treated this way? Maybe, maybe not since woman are still thought of as the weaker sex.
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